"But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord." 2 Corinthians 3:18

can i have some serious feedback on this verse. i hear it all the time but i can never understand it...

my car stinks man!
in order for me to pay for gas at the gas staion i have to hop along the seat until i get to the passengers side, get out the passengers side and walk all the way around the car to pay the man. then i can open my drivers side door and proceed to get back into the car. the window doesn't roll down and the door doesn't open from the inside. alas...the curse is upon me. i always said i loved cars with character. this is a little to much character.

work is great. just in case your wondering. it has it's ups and downs but i enjoy working with the people (some...) and i like my coworkers. the job itself sometimes gets a little repetative. "hi, how are ya today?" *scan...scan...scan...* "have a good day!"...(next customer...same as what i just said...) but then there are the times when it gets exciting. an old woman came in the other day and she had like 60 lottery tickettes. 60!!! it took me like maybe 20 minutes to scan them all. the lady got about 144 dollars. (insane!) then there are the WIC people who save up ALL there WIC checks for the very last day!!! GRRR!!!! ahahahahaha!!!!! it makes me cringe just thinking about it! they bring in like 10 checks and just one check normally takes about 3 minutes. you can imagine the line that builds up behind you! joy...jason...one of those people were in front of you this saturday when you came through my line. how does that make you feel? then there are the sweet old men and women who come through, and you always know they need help out to there car so you call up courtesy, even if it's just a couple bags. and they're always positive and happy. this old guy came in, he was about 80 maybe. and he had this little blue teddy bear. he told me and Jessica a story about when he was younger he always wanted a blue teddy bear. once, when he went to visit his cousin (in a buggy, cause that's all they had back then :) he saw his little cousin had a little blue teddy bear. and he had a brown teddy bear so they decided to trade there teddy bears. but when he went to leave his cousin started to cry so his mom made him give back the blue teddy bear. he only had it for a few days. and so he said how for so many years he was looking for a blue teddy bear and he finally found one the very night over in the post office for 10 dollars. he was such a sweet guy. and he always buys two Huge bags of bird seed and wine and cat food. such a nice guy.

anyways. enough of my ranting...or more like ... ack! i don't know. my talking. have a good day.

DRATS! i work at 2 p.m. today and i slept in till 11:52! that gives me like only an hour to sprawl out and relax at home. i know! i'll go over to joys! see ya!

LALALA! i'm trying to hear above my dogs bark. she gets so protective of Crystal. even when my mom just brushes her hair Mocha goes crazy.

alright.
i've been considering college. but before i make a move i need to discuss it with my boss. if i were to go i'd take a buckload of art classes and a basketteball class. so yah. i hope i can at leaste take one class or two art classes. especially the WELDING class!!!! that was so awesome and exciting!

....a while later...

...

...

i just got back from church this morning and i got to see the Longs and there pictures and everything they've done and will continue to do. it was really exciting! i enjoyed it.
keep praying for them. for me, they were just people our church supportes. but now that i've actually seen them and heard them and have been able to see what they're accomplishing, i feel like i can actually pray for them. anyways. i'm off to get a bigger cage for my guinea pig. ttyl.

I'm always amazed at how many opportunities God gives me to be a witness to people. not the kind of witnessing, like running up to people and physically talking to them about Christ, but the small subtle ways, just them seeing Christ through me. and i would be completely self-conceited to give myself the glory. God is awesome. i just want to thank Him for this crazy gift He's given me. most recently, i got my second paycheck from work...it was about 640$'s.iwas excited, and i thought the bank was closed by the time i got off work so i went through Eddies line and he cashed it for me. now, something in the system makes it impossible to cash a check over 500 dollars, so he had to split my check in half...it was all really confusing. so, it took quite a while for him, and the other head person,to figure out how to do it and we were all just going crazy by the end of it. (sorry if your confused. it's confusing to me...) so, i get my money and leave. when i got to the car my mom told me that the bank was really open! so i decided to cash my money, cause i didn't want to spend it. so we go to the bank and i cash 600$'s and i ended up having like 140$'s left over. which meant Eddy had given me an extra 100 dollars on accident. so i run over there again! and i had to call eddy back up to the front and Jenny who had helped him cash my check earlier. and we got it all figured out. strange as it is, the news of "what i did" spread throughout all the employees. even my boss. and i had a couple of people come up to me and ask me why i did it. why was i so honest. it was a whole hundred dollars. Bill, a courtesy guy, was saying how he probably wouldn't have done that, and how he was amazed that i did. he said it was good. isn't that amazing. God really turned that whole situation to His glory, no matter how subtle it may have been. these people seem to have a different outlook on me. Christ is shining through me. and it feels good. He's been giving me alot of opportunities to pray for my coworkers and have some talks with them. not deep spiritual stuff. just "so...you go to school?" small talk. things to help me get comfortable around them. i keep praying for them. i keep reading my Bible on my breaks. it's exciting!
i'm excited to see what God might do!
maybe you could pray for me and my time there. i'd really appreciate it!

oh! AND! i go in Thursday for my Lisence! i'm really scared and nearvous.

Ezekiel is a really awesome prophet. the things God made him do were insane. he had him erect a model of isreal, and make a siege against it, then he had to lie on his side for 390 days for isreal then he had to turn on his other side fir 40 days for judah, eating nothing but wheat and barley, beans and lentils, and milet and spelt and water. and he could only eat about 8 oz.'s a day and he had to eat it at set times. then he had to shave his head and beard and he had to burn a third of his hair, he had to strike a third of his hair with a sword (how do you do that?!) and he had to scatter a third of his hair to the wind, but he had to take a few strands and tuck them away in his garments. all that represented what God would do to them.

then God had him symbolize "exile"...man. you just need to read it all. it's crazy. how can someone have the perseverance to obey God to that extreme? 390 days, laying on your side, and you can't sit up to eat, you have to do it all laying down...

anyways. he's a pretty awesome prophet. read ezekial 1-5. it's great.

ACTS.

Awe.

I'm so in awe of God. He is my Creator. My Father. My judge. You know what I just noticed? All three of those are similar. They connect. My real father created me, and he is also my judge. He punishes me when i do wrong...but the Kind of loving punishment that makes me understand my wrong. Same for God, but in a much broader Bigger beautiful way. I'm in awe of God, for His creation. it never ceases to amaze me. the change in weather is awe-inspiring. the rain is refreshing and cool. the rainy season has always been my most favorite time of year. i use to love and look at the colorful reflections on the windshield of a car. the different kinds of drops and the reflection of city lights on the roads and puddles. call me a freak, but I thank God for those little pleasures.

i forgot what c was....maybe it'll come to me soon. OH yah! Confess.

well...last saturday Masami was asking everyone questions. and he said "have you ever lusted...?" and i never raised my hand, not because i was in denial. i actually didn't really fully understand what Lusting meant and i wasn't about to admit to something i knew nothing about. but now i know, and sadly i can say that i have. but everytime i think about it, it gives me more cause to praise God in showing me my sin and givng me the courage to ask for forgiveness. it's like being a little kid and going in for your punishment. it's the scariest thing ever. you know there will be Physical and Emotional pain, but once it's through you feel refreshed and ready to move on.

Thanks.

I really want to Thank God for the Job He's given me and the friends i have. Joy and Jason and David and Jon and all those other kids who enjoy my company. Thanks for giving me breath, and a really awesome family. for my personality and my femenine beauty. oh and my ten year Visa to India. that's pretty awesome.

Supplication.

I guess i'm quite content with everything right now. the greatest thing i could ask of God is to allow me to go to India again. and that my co-workers could find Christ. whether through me or someone else.

anyways. that's how you pray. by Masami's point of view. Like i said before Christ is really awesome. He's pure and Holy, something i'll never match up to until Heavan. I can't wait.

You Are 96% Pure

You're so innocent, it's almost like you're not human.Taking this test is probably the naughtiest thing you've done in a while!

How Pure Are You?

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world.And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly. Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life.You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful. You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person.With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

What's" Your Element?

I got my first paycheck the other day. that's very exciting. i really like the people i work with. they're all really nice and like me.

let me list everyone, just because i can and it will be fun.
Phyllis. she's really awesome and funny, and she likes to gang up on me with other workers and tease me about random things.

Pam. she's always stressed but she's pretty nice. well....stressed is not really the word. more like tired.

Kyle, one of the new recruites who started working the same day as me. this kid is so funny! whenever he sees me he gets this huge smile on his face, and he always jokes around. he's awesome!

alex b. a very quiet guy. he's pretty nice.

alex. another extremely quiet kid. he told me he hates checking and he always smiles when he sees me! it's funny!

Barb. the one woman who intimidates me. she reminds me of Mrs. Schneider in second grade. a very masculin woman, who i can never tell when she's joking...or WHAT!

Brent. he's kindof "funnyish-weird". he cracks weird jokes...and he always makes me laugh.

Jenney. another stressed woman. well. at leaste this week she is. but even though she's always stressed, she's really nice.

april. my personal trainer. only once have i seen her extremely stressed, and it happened to be the day that i was stressed so we were both stressed. other than that one day, she's the nicest calmist woman there.

i don't really get to hang out with the meat department, or the deli. but the produce maneger and assistant are pretty nice.

there are other workers there, but they slip my mind. OH! there is Semira. i always...and i mean always...mispronounce her name. it's sad.

OH!!!! and Jackie!!!! she's my absolute favorite! she calls everyone sweety. and her laugh is extremely contagious!it's awesome!

the other day, all the workers up front, which i think it was Jenny, Phyllis, Jacki and pam. they all all of a sudden got in this weird funcky mood, where they were cracking the funniest jokes and were teasing me and laughing at the weirdest things. i was almost flabbergasted. it was so funny to see! man. i love my job

i have a feeling i'm going to be talking about my new job for a while. Brent left a lovely comment saying how much he loves plastic. with made me remeber how many Patheticly Picky People there are in estacada! HOLY COW!!!!

this one lady was like "double bag, and make sure this goes in a paper bag, and these two HAVE! to go in plastic. then she slowly counted out her money and each item that i rung up, she made sure it was the right price, the right brand...and on and on. it was weird. i really wanted to laugh. but she would have noticed.

then there are the really awesome people! the ones who i want to HUG when they say "whatever is easiest for you!" then i go straight for the plastic because it's right by me and i don't have to struggle for a decade trying to open up the paper bag. and i always forget that i have those really nice teenagers who bag for me whenever it's a really big load. so this whole time i've been doing it by myself. not using the handy intercom to call for them. there's Bill, Jenna, Kyle and some others that i don't think i've met. they're called something special, but i just can't remember. so anyways. joy has only come through my line once. lanelle and jake once. elaine once. connie redmond came through my line, and i saw ronnie from a distance. stephanie walked by my line, but was in someone else's. and she said hi. i saw so many other people, it's freaky. that's what i get for being hired at the biggest grocery store in a small town. oh yah. and masami's gone through someone else's line twice, but talked to me the whole time.

it's pretty awesome.

here's a list of people i EXPECT to see this week.

joy
brent
masami
jon
david
jerry
ronnie (in MY line!)
jason
all the jr.high and highschool kids.
scotty and becky
timbo
lisa and bryan (lisa promised to buy apack of Gum.)

am i missing anyone!?

if you see your name! you'd better be there!

i work all this week, ending on saturday. so you have all the time in the world. oh, and i work nights.

Ok! that's enough of that.
How's is everything going for you spiritually? i love asking that. and i want sincerity. joy, we already talked so you don't need to say anything if you don't want to. but anyone else! i want to know, thruthfully i do!

have a nice day.

my job is awesome. i see so many people i know! it's GREAT!
today was a bit more crazy, because i was on the Register all day. i had to deal with a Deaf man. i felt so bad, because he was buying alchohol and i didn't even realize he was deaf, and i carded him because he looked like he was in his twenties. and he didn't understand what i was saying, so he was getting really frustrated.. luckily, there is a lady in Delhi, who signs, and she was called over to talk to him.

then there was this other guy who was buying beer, and he looked like he could maybe be 29, so i carded him. and i didn't know he had three kids standing next to hom (not like a 30 year old guy couldn't have kids...) so he was giving me a hard time with that. i think he enjoyed it. THEN as id it wasn't enough, the whole line of like three other people ganged up on me and were teasing me! the next guy in line was buying some TV dinner, and the guy behind him said "are you sure your old enough to buy that?!"

yahi had a blast. i really did. i'll be able to get to know a bunch of people, and it'll be great. see you at Thriftway! PAPER OR PLASTIC!!!!

Eze 14:12 And the word of Jehovah came unto me, saying,
Eze 14:13 Son of man, when a land sinneth against me by committing a trespass, and I stretch out my hand upon it, and break the staff of the bread thereof, and send famine upon it, and cut off from it man and beast;
Eze 14:14 though these three men, Noah, Daniel, and Job, were in it, they should deliver but their own souls by their righteousness, saith the Lord Jehovah.
Eze 14:15 If I cause evil beasts to pass through the land, and they ravage it, and it be made desolate, so that no man may pass through because of the beasts;
Eze 14:16 though these three men were in it, as I live, saith the Lord Jehovah, they should deliver neither sons nor daughters; they only should be delivered, but the land should be desolate.
Eze 14:17 Or if I bring a sword upon that land, and say, Sword, go through the land; so that I cut off from it man and beast;
Eze 14:18 though these three men were in it, as I live, saith the Lord Jehovah, they should deliver neither sons nor daughters, but they only should be delivered themselves.
Eze 14:19 Or if I send a pestilence into that land, and pour out my wrath upon it in blood, to cut off from it man and beast;
Eze 14:20 though Noah, Daniel, and Job, were in it, as I live, saith the Lord Jehovah, they should deliver neither son nor daughter; they should but deliver their own souls by their righteousness.

the word of the Lord is powerful! if you don't beleive me and you refused to read it, read it now. The word of the Lord is sharp as a double edged sword! there was a Christian, being persecuted in Taiwan i beleieve. and one day as his captor guard was beating him, the prisoner said "You keep beating me. if i die, you will some day become a Christian! i promise!" a little paraphrased because i don't have the little magazine next to me, the the powerful statement that ravages through my mind is "You will someday become a Christian if you kill me!" and it happened, and it happens alot. Crazy huh! God is Powerful. He causes death to cause life. That fellow brother in Christ dies for a pure and holy reason. I thank God for his death, so that one guard could see Christ someday!

read Ezekial chapter 10 it's awesome!

well, i realize alot of poepl don't like edgar allen poe, but he is one of my most favorite Poets. so, enjoy. (i dare you to read the whole thing! i've read it so many times it's not even funny!)

The Raven

Poem by Edgar Allen Poe (1845)

Once upon a midnight dreary,while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. "
'Tis some visitor," I muttered,"tapping at my chamber door-
Only this, and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;- vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow- sorrow for the lost Lenore-
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore- Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me- filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating, "
'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door-
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;-
This it is, and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you"- here I opened wide the door;- Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore!"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!"- Merely this, and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning, Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice:
Let me see, then, what ther eat is, and this mystery explore-
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;-
'Tis the wind and nothing more."

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door-
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door-
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore.
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven, Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore-
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning- little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blest with seeing bird above his chamber door-
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as "Nevermore."

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered- not a feather then he fluttered-
Till I scarcely more than muttered, "other friends have flown before-
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
Then the bird said, "Nevermore."

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore-
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore Of 'Never- nevermore'.

" But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door; Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore-
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer Swung by Seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee- by these angels he hath sent thee Respite- respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!- prophet still, if bird or devil!-
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore, Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted-
On this home by horror haunted- tell me truly, I implore- Is there- is there balm in Gilead?- tell me- tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil- prophet still, if bird or devil! By that Heaven that bends above us- by that God we both adore- Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore-
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore."
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend,"
I shrieked, upstarting- "Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!- quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!" Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming, And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted- nevermore!

YES! i love this poem. it's my favorite!
but i've always wondered WHAT! is the Raven!
i once thought death...but i was never sure. what do you think? (did you even read it all?!)

Steven!
When i heard he had passed away, i was almost in tears. if masami hadn't been standing in front of me, already heart broken, i would have cried. but i knew it would just cause him to probably cry, and we both would have been sitting in the jr.high cafeteria with a girl i hardly knew and a janetor, staring at us, as we cried. no one could fathom the loss. i have so many fond memories of steven. one thing that i truly loved about this man was his passion for prayer! that word left his lips all the time. you couldn't go through a whole conversation with Steven and not hear him talk about prayer! he was into, saving souls for Christ. it was his life, i beleive, to serve Christ and win Souls for the Kingdom. especially the Tibetans, these people i have grown to love. they're so beautiful, but so clouded by sin. he was truly an amazing man. i thank God for the many opportunities this year and last year, to walk beside him and share in his passion for the ministry! Thanks God! he was one of the people who really helped me understand my passion for the Tibetans. and he still does. i can't wait till i return to india, whether it will be this year or another year. i'll be able to see Joshua and Isaac and Stevens wife, and see how they're doing and encourage them. it will be nice.

anyways. i hope i've encouraged the Body. Keep his family and the people who were impacted by him the most, in your prayers.

I want to talk about a man who has deeply impacted me. He is now Praising Christ and God in there presence as i speak. Which is probably what he wanted to do his whole life, being in the presence of God.

His ministry was intense. Serve God.
He served God by giving schooling to a group of little Gypsy children. The first year I got to see a bunch of them running by their house. they seemed really happy. Every morning he would get up and walk with this man, whi i beleive was a government official, i'm not sure though. he wasn't a christian, but every morning he walked with Steven. He had a radio program that went into Tibet, this year we got to walk through a new building as it was being built, and in the building were little school rooms. i forgot what those were for, but i know it was to teach children, because one randomly came flying from somewhere and almost ran into us. (Vauge memory :) On our way back to his house that same day, Tim(bo) [a nickname i gave him after he started calling me Carina Latrina {because it reminded him of the latrine!}] wanted to buy a Tibeten rug, but we couldn't find someone who could make them. so steven took us into this two story house thing...i'm not sure now what it was. it was a huge building that was like a hundred years old, and if an earthquake hit, the people inside would be history. well, we walked in and Steven showed us a bunch of women who were hand weaving Tibetans rugs. we got to talk with them, and steven was talking to them. it was awesome. Then there was those two houses that he bought, and in them he decipled a bunch of younge tibetan guys. so, through his death, i see alot of lives that he had been impacting, will be impacted even more. they will miss him. they will wonder, and if it's God's will, He will be glorified.

I'm excited to see what happens over in india. and i can't wait till it's my turn to stand before God, and praise him, with steven and all the other amazing people in heaven!

God has answered prayers in my life once again. I was hired at Thriftway yesterday, after my drug test. i start working on wednesday. i'm so excited. so my schedule is now full with youthgroup, awanas, thriftway, girls inc., and the latino club. the sad thing is, i'm not sure if i'll be able to go to india. i mean, i'll ask my boss, but he said something about not having vacation until you've worked for them for a year. but maybe he can make it work for me. we'll see. obviously it's all up to God. if He wants me to go, it Will work out. so. we'll see what He's up to.

i'm still very excited! i'll be able to get my lisence. and then a car. and then maybe move out. AND!!! YESS!!! whenever i go out to eat with other people! I CAN PAY!!!! YESS!!!! you have no idea how "free" that already feels. and no more, me asking for rides! people will be groveling at my feet for rides! (just kidding)

so. i'm really excited.

so. whenever your in thriftway, stop my register if i'm working1 ok!? :)
that'd be so fun.

ok. enough.

now about the saturday night service. it went great. Tim spoke really well. and there were alot of parents. some of the parents wouldn't let any of the kids stay later, but maybe they'll get more used to it later. we're hoping that alot of the kids will want to stay later and hang out. there were only 4 jr.highers but alot of highschoolers. everything went very smoothly. i'm excited to see it get bigger, as the weeks and months progress.

well. i'm writing a story for this art site...what do you think of it so far. By far, it is way not finished! but enjoy what i have written.oh, and i have to iilistrate it to.




Fernis Mottle's Dragon Search
by CMT



Fernis Mottle was a slim girl. Around the age of 15 and about 5 foot 7 and growing. Now, I'm not skilled in "Height Knowledge" or anything of that sort, but i'm fairly sure this was a rare height for girls in this era. She had dark brown hair and silver eyes. Also a slight Lisp that make everyone smirk at her. Now, in this era, Silver eyes meant you couldn't keep still, and Dark hair meant that everything that happened to you was happening for a purpose but sadly, if you were born with a lisp, well, that just meant you were born of a family of Ill repute. Now, What era you say? well, the era of Dragons and Corn of course. Yes! Dragons and Corn, you did hear me right. Dragons flooded the plains, they took every oportunity to eat fish and corn. Well, at leaste when no one was looking. They crawled from the deepest darkest pits, down where no one could fathom the deepness. There they hoarded corn, the only means of survival for the people on ground. There land had been laid waiste by the evil dragons a few decades past. Evil dragons so vile, so Horendous, to look at them would mean certain death. They ravaged the land, in search of every tree or field that harvested a crop and blew poisonous vapors around. and these vapours creeped down to the coldest roots and shriveled what food sources and nutrience were there.
Well, needless to say, Fernis Mottle, or Ferny as a few of her closest friends called her, was an adventerous sort. She always seemed to find herself in the most dire of situations. Like last winter, she found an old stump a few miles away from the small town of GrainStock. She loved to jump on stumps and pretend she had tamed a wild dragon. She envisioned her dragon with a breast-plate of silver, studded with the most rare of jewels. She would forge a huge Golden Saber that could attach to the tail of her beast and slice through anything that clouded there path. It's eyes would reflect hers, Silver and bright. They'd fly through the air, in search of rare plants. Plants thought to have gone extinct during the Great Raid of Foliage. To bad she hadn't been born a few decades earlier. If she had...Well...by now, as she was throwing herself around, pretending to destroy Evil Dragons with her Tamed One beside her, she didn't realize she had grabbed a stick and was thrashing some little kid who had followed her out of town. The kid was inflicted with a bloody nose and was so mad, he ran back and tattled on Poor Fernis Mottle. She got a good thrashing that day.
This spring was a little less intense. She accidentally caused a horse to spook and it knocked down a couple of small racks of cooking corn. That would be the end of her adventurous spirit for the rest of the summer. All the adult in the town decided that she should stay inside, studying.

ok. that's it. i can probably only think of two people who would appreciate this story and i won't pass on names. but be gentle. :)

http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/cwn/092206indigenous.aspx

Typing out verses is tedious and sometimes annoying, but the benefit is amazing. i have time to take each word as i type it, to come up with a conclusion as to what it means. which helps me to understand the whole thing as a whole.
so here goes.

Philippians 1:3-11
I thank my God every time i remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with Joy because of your partnership in the Gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since i have you in my heart; for whether i am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in Knowledge and Depth of Insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of Righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ-to the glory and praise of God.

i read that, and was amazed at one part in peticular. "Phillipians 1:9 ...And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight. ..."

fascinating way to pray for someone. He didn't just pray that they would love people. anyone can love someone. but he prayed that there love would be filled with Knowledge and depth of insight. and why did he pray for that? So that they would be able to discern what was best and that they would be pure and blameless until Christ's second coming.I can only assume that's what the "Day of Christ" is. His return.
But what would it look like? Physically? to have Love that abounded in Knowledge and Depth of insight! I want to ask God to give me that, I want you to ask God to give you that. what an amazing Gift that would be!

another area that stuck out to me in those verses, was how Paul said "I thank God every time I remember you." That kind of sounded weird to me, that he would thank God for remebering someone. what does that mean? why would he say that? The only thing that came to my mind was that God probably put the "remebering" in Pauls mind. that would be the only reason (that I can see) that Paul would thank God.

well. thanks for listening again. have a good day. and keep God in the center of your Prayers.

Holy Cow! this article i found freaked me out! you should read it and tell me what you think!

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20050929.wstiffs.jpg/BNStory/National/

enjoy. and also tell me if you would consider it yourself! :)

i Just finished book #6 in the Left Behind series! it was long. rough and exciting! Now i have to go back to the library and check out two more. hopefully i'll have the whole series read before my job starts up.

so about my Job. i was so convicted when i left the last day of training. Ready to just quit and breeze away. away from those freaky women lovers and femenist and new-agey creepy people. but they need Jesus to. I just realized how much of an impact i could have. i have to see all of them at leaste once a month at madetory meetings. truthfully i will dread them...but looking forward to God's power in my life is far more exciting!

I've had many moments to consider my predicament, and i realized that the whole experience put me in a spiritually depressed state. but that didn't last. God has again directed me. and uplifted my spirits! it was good. so, now, needless to say. i'm excited for the opportunities He's givven me. and i can't wait to start.

now about the Bible. i need to impress it on my mind.

Hebrews 12:3 Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

wow that's a sweet! verse! I pray your day goes well.

AAAW! ther's me as a baby! chewing on a baseball bat!
yah those were the days. being chubby isn't like what it used to be. now there are worldy preferences. i would have failed!!!!


Can you find me! can you find JOY!!!

IT'S ALMOST AS FUN AS A "WHER'S WALDO"!
hahah! better yet.

so much for that Biblical post. I just had to show you the proof that me and joy knew each other in second grade!

i want to study the Bible again with you, and share my insight...if i get any. But usually i just bombared people with questions...and most of the time my thoughts are weak. i'm sure all of the people who know me closest would remember me as someone who wasn't very thoughtful or didn't try to think as much as a normal person. but the truth is, i'm not sure how to think. I always have this deep fear, that if i give my opinion on Biblical matters that the person hearing me will be offended or try to talk me out of whatever i just said. i'm a social wreck. my life is centered on what others think of me. i know that's no way to live, and i know it will be really rough getting past that personality traite. but i also know that with God's help anything is possible. who knows. maybe He created me like this for a reason. i know, with the way i am, if i had been in Highschool, i probably would have turned out to be a fake Christian. one who went to church but defied everything God has set before us. i'm a follower and i want to be accepted. and it's painfull when i'm not, and that's when i begin to hate myself.

oh well. i don't know why i said all that. but i won't erase it. i hate it when people see me as strong and "perfect". I've had so many people call me "perfect" it's not even funny. and that was coming from another beleiver, which really upsets me...but i do appreciate evry un-beleiver who has pointed out God in me whenever i try to be hidden. not that i want to hide God, but i'm not social in any cercumstances. i'm like the leaste social person in this whole world. and you say "no way...your like best friends with everyone in your church..." well. let me just explaine that when you go to India for two years and you become like a daughter to all of those older guys on the team and you become even closer to all those younger people, and you leave random messages to masami, who without telling me, broadcasts that to the whole church, you'd better beleive i'd become well known. not that i like ebing known. it just sortof happens.

anyways. the bottom line is i hate being social. i get serious anxiety whenever i'm around people who i am not comfortable with. it's the most annoying feeling wanted with every part of you to be accepted, but you yourself not wanting to be noticed. oh well. that's life i guess...

i'll write a whole long post about God and what He's telling me in His word in like an hour...so keep looking. it will be inspired! i promise.

John Piper on Small Groups.

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/2006/1810_Resting_and_Wrestling_for_the_Cause_of_ChristTogether/

try to read all of that. it's really good. even if you have to Save the link and come back later. and keep in ming Piper wrote it to his church that he preaches at. well, it was confusing to me...just wanted to warn you.

Ok. here goes. last night was a breath of fresh air for me. i had become stale through secular teaching, and then at the Youth group kickoff-to be surrounded by other beleivers, was like a lsap in the face, and early morning wakeup call. It was defienetly God who planned those days to collide together.

I will first start out by saying how un-trained my mind is when it comes to secular training. all the training i've received is Christian, except of course that forklift training or CPR or Scuba diving. but this was different. this was 100% Serious attacks on my beleifs! if you don't think Femenists don't attack your beleifs. you should sit with them for a few days and see how much they probably hate Christians. I could almost taste it. although they did talk about how "We should all respect each others opinions..." i still felt Like i'd be the center of attention.

so your probably confused now. let me explaine my job. I was hired to work for Girls.Inc. a corporation that helps build up girls and there "self-image" and Blah-Blah-Blah. not that that is bad...but the behind the scenes training is what freaked me out. all the 25 women who were there were either Liberal, Feminist, New age or all of those! except one. this Girl who i'll be working for... They kept saying things like "I found my iner-child" and "The energy in this room is Amazing!" they are pr-abortion, luckily we didn't discuss that in this training...and they excercise "safe-sex"! Grrrr....I hope they don't expect me to teach any of that. if they do, they'll have to fire me first. of course the ciriculum says nothing about abortion and safe sex as aposed to absinence, but what's to stop them if i refuse to "Mentor" a girl in that direction. well, needless to say, after those two days of training, i felt dirty, like i needed a shower. and being able to show up at someones house with alot of christians, made me feel so much better! more to say on this job later...after i have a serious meeting with Masami.

i was reading in job last night, with Joy. and some things lept out at me, yet again. the first time i read the passage, a few years ago at camp, my understanding of Job chapter 9 was limited. I knew the chapter was showing our need for Jesus. and i found many parts of that chapter that reflected that. for instance... Job 9:2..."Indeed, i know that this is true, but how can a mortal be righteous before God?" verse 4 "His wisdom is profound, His power is vast. Who has resisted Him and come out unscathed?" how obvious can that get? we as Humans or "Mortals" cannot be righteous before God. it isn't possible. And can you tell me who has resisted God and come out alive. if you think you can storm into Heavan someday demanding that God let you in, beleive me. it won't work. God will not allow it. when i realized this, it almost made my life hopeless. if i had not been a beleiver in Jesus I would have been depressed. i wouldn't have known what to do. But i knew. But this chapter just doesn't leave us dangling...it Hints deeper. now don't get me wrong, it doesn't blurt out! "you need Jesus! He is the only way!" but it does make it clear we need someone to intercede, and that someone came to earth hundreds, probably thousands of years after this chapter was written...Job 9:32-34 He is not a man like me that I might answer Him, that we might confront each other in court. If only there were someone to Arbitrate between us, to lay His hand upon us both, Someone to remove God's rod from me, so that His terror would frighten me no more."
That's so awesome. I had read the whole book of Job so many times, but always never understood or just plainly skimmed by that section. but it is so crucial. now...here's the definition of "Arbitrate" just in case you don't know what it means as i do...

arbitrate
v : act between parties with a view to reconciling differences; "He interceded in the family dispute"; "He mediated a settlement" [syn: intercede, mediate, intermediate, liaise]

so. that's where Jesus's Mediation role comes in. I've always heard Jesus is like a Mediator...but i never knew where it was found. although I'm sure there are tons of other places that Have that statement...now i just have to find them!

Chi Chi's Mild Salsa
This is a great base recipe that can easily be adapted to your tastes. Ingredients
1 can sliced-style stewed;
(14 ozs) tomatoes 2 large green onions;
snipped quite w/scissors 1 large ripe tomato;cored;
diced
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
1 dose Tabasco; or to taste

Directions
Cut up stewed tomatoes and combine in saucepan with onions, fresh tomato, salt and pepper. Bring just to a boil. Boil hard 1 minute and remove at once from heat. Put half of mixture through blender just to mince fine but not to puree. Return to remaining half of mixture. Cool and refrigerate in tightly covered container to use with a few weeks. Freezes well to use within 6 months. NOTE: For hot salsa: Add 1 tsp canned green chopped chilies or to taste, freezing unused chilies to use in other recipes.

mmm. tasty salsa. it makes your mouth water doesn't it?

here are some things that i found really awesome. i got them from an e-mail...and no. it wasn't one of those "if you don't send this to 59 friends you'll have a bad love life for 7 years" kindof a thing.

come on, just read it.

On Sunday He Is God
There are very few who in their hearts who do not believe in God, but what they will not do is give Him exclusive right of way. ... They are not ready to promise full allegiance to God alone. Many a professing Christian is a stumbling-block because his worship is divided. On Sunday he worships God;on weekdays God has little or no place in his thoughts. I want people to place their faith in Jesus and motivate them to live more obediently. D.L. Moody

He Is the Son of God

“I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: 'I'm ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don't accept His claim to be God.' That is the one thing wemust not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic - on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg - or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is,the Son of God: or else a mad man or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to."
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity


Take up Your Cross

This is a cheerful world as I see it from my garden under the shadows of my vines. But If I were to ascend some high mountain and look over the widelands, you know very well what I would see: brigands on the highways,pirates on the sea, armies fighting, cities burning; in the amphitheaters men murdered to please the applauding crowds; selfishness and cruelty andmisery and despair under all roofs. It is a bad world, Donatus, an incredibly bad world. But I have discovered in the midst of it a quiet and holy people who have learned a great secret. They are despised and persecuted, but they care not. They are masters of their souls. They have overcome the world. These people, Donatus, are the Christians--and I am one of them.
Cyprian, a third-century martyr.

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring.
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
The character Bilbo Baggins in J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord Of The Rings,1956.

well. that's enough for now. have a good day. you should read Job chapter 9 and tell me what you think1 ok!?

well. does anyone have free kittens? Free kittens anyone!?

or a free puppy! especially a tibetan mastiff...for those of you who know me best, you know how much i LOve! Tibetan Mastiff's! they're the most amazing Dog Breed that God could ever make (Excitement is personal, as is the view and statement...) aside from the Really! awesome Great Dane!
let me tell you of my first encounter with a Tibetan Mastiff...

it was warm, almost muggy, but absolutely just right. we were touring Steven's son's art\furniture Gallery. that's not really what it was, but me being an artist, that's what i saw. all of it was really awsome. as we stepped through the open doors, the indian air got just a tad bit warmer. Joshuah and Isaac handed each of us a complimentary hanger. :) hahah! (that was pretty funny...) WHICH! i don't have...darnit! i just remembered that...i think Brent has it. anyways...
so we step out of the old building and begin to walk back to the car, all the guys talking. especially Jake who was enamoured with there building skills and tools and whatnot. when steven steered us toward the front door. he said "you want to see our puppy?" i was curious. i didn't know what kind it was, but i knew i loved puppies. so me and lanelle went over to see it.

and there it was.

the most innocent ball of fluff you could ever lay your eyes on. staring at me. beckoning me to finger my hand through it's soft warm fur. lanelle got to it first. she squatted down and petted it for what seemed like an eternity for me. i Needed to touch it! finally she scooted away. i was free to look at it and talk to it. it was so sweet. it wasn't more than a month old, and it was quite tiny. i didn't realize what a monster it would turn out to be, but a gentle monster. i kept petting it. i couldn't tear myself away. some lady came out to stare at me, while Brent kept telling me to get away from it because we had to leave...but i made my moment with this tiny creature last...

right now it's probably Ginormous. like 50 times the size i left it in. but i hope i get to see it again. we really had a connection. a bond. ok that sounds corny. but i did fall in love with the breed.

so that's the story.

you need to get a tibetan mastiff.

ok. joy. i know this doesn't look like you, but who cares. at leaste i got the hair.

so. now i've fully, almost gotten you back for writing so much about me...
and posting that pathetic link to that horendous picture you drew of me.

now. about that tazer. we should pread the word. heighten awareness. bring down crime one female at a time. Hahahah! just joking. although if every woman in america had a tazer, i wonder if guys would think twice before attacking them. better yet. if every woman in america had a GUN! what say you?

all comments must be submitted in writting. you cannot speak to me openly about this subject. WHY? because i can!
have a swell day!

Why the pouch?
Kangaroo's
In the desert species, carrying the baby in the pouch is convenient for the female, who may travel many miles for fresh food and water. The youngster stands a greater chance of survival because it does not have to keep up with her and is tucked away from predators.
During prolonged drought, kangaroos stop breeding. In some species, a doe [the female] is able to delay the development of a fertilized egg inside her until an older joey dies or vacates the pouch.
This remarkable phenomenon occurs in the red kangaroo, the eastern grey kangaroo, the common wallaroo (euro), the brush-tailed bettong, and several of the larger wallabies. It has also been noted in the honey possum and some non-marsupial mammals such as bats and seals.2
Another incredible aspect is that the doe can determine the sex of her offspring. How she does this is unknown, but she tends to put off bearing males until she is older. Males move away after about two years, but females stay with their mothers longer and benefit from ongoing support.3
A doe is nearly always pregnant. From sexual maturity to death, she is rarely without three offspring — an embryo in the womb, a joey in her pouch, and a larger youngster at her heels.
The joey is born after a gestation period of about 35 days (depending on the species) and in the largest species is the size of a human thumb nail. In the smallest, it is only the size of a rice grain. Naked, blind and deaf, it must make its way unaided from the birth canal to the pouch.
All going well, the climb will take less than 10 minutes. The joey can survive only a few minutes unless it reaches the pouch and attaches to one of the four nipples. Once there, its mouth swells on the nipple so that it cannot be removed without injury. A ring of strong muscles, similar to human lips, seals off the opening to the pouch to protect the joey from bouncing out, and keeps the pouch waterproof if mother goes for a swim.4
After three months, the developed joey emerges from the pouch to make short trips in the outside world. However, it will return to the pouch to suckle and sleep until eight months old.

www.ChristianAnswers.Net

animals are amazing. it just proves God's devotion to this world until we can be with Him in heavan. i was reading about Creation science a little bit ago, it's fascinating stuff. this site tells from a christian perspective how the animals dispersed, or at leaste some of there theories and speculations and of course biblical facts. read it, it's awesome.

http://christiananswers.net/q-aig/aig-c006.html

WARNING:some of the following contents may be stylized, exaggerated or accidentally made up. enter at owners own risk.


Ok. so i have a really dear friend. her name is joy.she's beautiful. amazing. friendly. outgoing.she's only 4ft.11in. but God has given her grace beyond measure. her love for Him is what always makes me want to scream for Joy! having a friend like her is a deep blessing.We've been friends since we were in 2 grade. here are my most fondest memories of her.I was running around. my hair flowing in the wind. i was only 6. it was recess. i was oblivious to most things. people didn't stand out to me. i was in my own little world. but she did. she had long blonde hair. blueish green eyes. and she was romping around this green field. i was so curious as to what she was doing that i walked right up to her and asked her what she was doing.she looked at me and said..."why. i'm being a horse!"i was so confused. i had never seen a horse. so i asked her if she could teach me. she did, and we were best friends ever since. we spent so much time together. her always getting me in trouble. one time, me and her little sister jenny were planning this huge slumber party. i mean it was going to be massive. with junk food and fun movies and we were going to invite her cousin! her mom had taken us to the snack shop and thriftway and we had picked out pop and pizza and candy and stuff!!! i was stoked, the first fun party i would ever be invited to. well. me in my curiosity. Kelly (Grrr....) decided to watch a movie. rated R!it was called "Maximum Overdrive" a movie about machines that came to life and killed people. my mom distinctly told me to ask before watching any movie. well, kelly said it was a good movie. but i decided i shouldn't watch it. so me and joy went into her room. joy got Ancy and went out to see her favorite part, where a little boy on a baseball field gets his face bashed in when a pop machine shoots out pop cans. well. i was ledt in the room, all to myself. what was i supposede to do?! i went out there at sat with them and watched the movie. it was scary. almost at the end, laury comes in and says...carina, did you aks your mom if you could watch this? i kindof mumbled a yes...(blatent lie...) but laury called my mom anyways. my heart Burned. fear seeped through my soul. not only had i watched a rated r movie, but i ahd lied to laury. joy and kelly were oblivious to what was going on. they were obsorbed in watching the morbid movie. laury ;looked at me and said..."your moms coming". that was the end of the worlds greatest slumber party. my mom came and got me. joy didn't seem upset...to me anyways. but she was still my most coveted friend. the person i looked forward to seeing everyday at school. we've been through so much. i was shocked when she had a boyfriend...in like 3rd grade! i was partially disgusted. i was really mad, when rumors started to spread that she had kissed him. i refused to beleive it. there were so many times i cried in school. one of the worst memories of joy was on one of those occasions. 3rd grade. Mrs Packrds class. we had just had a bubble gum blowing contest to see who could blow the largest bubble. i knew i would win. i knew my jaw was capable of such trama! i was ready. psyched up. prepared! we were given to pieces. i decided to try the contest and if i failed, i'd keep the other piece for recess. well. i failed. sadness. oh well. i had that other piece for recess. well...lalalala...recess finally came. i went to the undercover area. feeling free to enjoy my piece of gum. joy and another girl walk up. they started harassing me. telling me i couldn't eat that piece of gum. if we had an extra we had to give it back to the teacher. well, i knew the logic in it. but i refused to beleive it. so i shoved the piece of gum in my mouth and chewed on the savory flavor. (it was bubblicious. the kind every child wanted, but my mom would never get!) well. that just made joy mad. so she said i had to spit it out and throw it away. at this point i didn't understand why all of this bickering was relevant. so i started to cry. i juices were drooling out of my mouth i was crying so hard. i think i ended up swollowing my gum. well. joy decided to change her tactic. her and the other girl calmed down and said "your so sensitive!"
what was this word! sensitive. i had never heard it before. i automatically assumed it was a horrid word and that it was inulting me. so i screamed back! "I AM NOT SENSITIVE!!!" this made them laugh. "You are sensitive!" this went back and forth for the whole recess. i was sobbing, weak from crying, shaking from furry. they were amused and thought it was hilarious. we walked into the classroom. my eyes were puffy and red. i was still choked up. the teacher pulled me aside and aksed what was the matter (really what was going through her mind was why can't this stupid sensitive girl go through one day without crying over something stupid...?) well. i mumbled something about them calling ,e sensitive and not letting me eat the gum...and it was a horrid gloomy day for me. but does this stop me from loving joy? does this make me dread being in her presence? does this make life more horrifying knowing she is still alive...?
no. far be it from me to ever dread being in this short girls presence. her very eyes puncture deep rivits in my kind. thanks God for making and molding such a beautiful person.

Amen. (let it be so...)

Well, thank you joy for a fun day. i hope you had as much fun as i did. i always am excited to hang out with you, and saving your life makes it a ton more exciting. i REALLY thank God for His intervention in that situation. it was pretty crazy.

so. my most favorite parts of the Bible, are the action packed areas. some people like the romance...(?), some people like the hard to understand stuff, but i like the action. take this section for example...

Judges 19+20

a story quite similar to Sodom and Gamora. my favorite part...

Jdg 20:16 Among all this people there were seven hundred chosen men left-handed; every one could sling stones at a hair breadth, and not miss.

yah. that's pretty awesome. these people were devoted. they weren't stupid. i always imagined the isrealites as being incompitent. only relying on God for protection. but these people were strong. and they relied on a strong God. (the only God). i was almost sad when it said
Jdg 20:44 And there fell of Benjamin eighteen thousand men; all these were men of valor. (well, NIV says " all of them valiant fighters ") But it was Gods desicion. and if you read the reason this all took place, you'll end up wanting to route for the isrealites. anyways. that was a really awesome story. i thought it was a remix of Sodom and Gamora. in fact i think it is, but i'm not sure why God would do that again. oh well.

have a good night.

wow. i'm such a slacker. i havn't read the Bible for like two whole days now. so much for me trying my hardest to read it. and please don't tell me "how hard it is to devote your self to reading the Bible everyday" I understand that...thus the complaining. just thinking about it makes me want to act upon it. so if i have to type this same sentance over and over again, everyday for the rest of my life, in order for me to try to read the Bible consistently, i guess that's what i have to do.

ok. i bought a sketchbook the other day, and i've dvoted it to the human body. i can't wait to see my skills be refreshed and molded.

...and now on to my thoughts.

India.

yes. i want to go again this year. if God will allow me, i will go. the only way i could see me not being able to go, is if i got a job and my boss said no. so i'm looking forward to it. the last two trips, i just lept into it. Focused on God but not really seeing if it was what He wanted. i automatically said YESS!!! i'm going! and went. obviously God didn't stop me. but i still felt bad for not even trying to see where He wanted me to go. well, now i'm 98% sure. the other two percent is a "He still might shut the door..." But i'm looking forward to it all. some day i hope i'll be able to go to tibet and china...and alot of other places, but right now, i'm content with India.

God's pretty awesome. and i know how much i grow when i go to india. each year was like ten years of growth for me. i have thought about how my life was before i went to india. i was weak, i knew God and wanted to honour Him but didn't know how, or who to share it with. I was socially afraid. well. now i'm quite different. at leaste i think so.

so. what could God possibly do again in my life if i went on another trip? Tons. i'm not sure what, but i always seem to get a few steps closer to God, the farther away from home and the more i have to rely on my friends for safety.

anyways. that was way to much rambling for my taste. now, off to study. and do some art.

Ok. i need to read my Bible...

I'm going to read from Phillipians, only because that book just popped into my mind, and i also really like it. ok...here goes...

what's Humility?
–noun
the quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc.

(humility- a prominent Christian grace (Rom. 12:3; 15:17, 18; 1 Cor. 3:5-7; 2 Cor. 3:5;Phil. 4:11-13). It is a state of mind well pleasing to God (1 Pet. 3:4); it preserves the soul in tranquillity (Ps. 69:32, 33), and makes us patient undertrials (Job 1:22). Christ has set us an example of humility (Phil. 2:6-8) Weshould be led thereto by a remembrance of our sins (Lam. 3:39), and by thethought that it is the way to honour (Prov. 16:18), and that the greatestpromises are made to the humble (Ps. 147:6; Isa. 57:15; 66:2; 1 Pet. 5:5). Itis a "great paradox in Christianity that it makes humility the avenue toglory."
Easton's 1897 Bible Dictionary)

So. Humility is not recognizing yourself, in comparison to someone else...
That's how my mind makes better sense of it anyways.

Did Jesus do that? The Bible says Jesus was humble. Philippians 2:1-11

"...Who, being in the very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. ..."

That's pretty crazy. Jesus was so humble He threw down His royalty and became a peasant. The story, The Prince and the Pauper jumped in my mind. Is it going to far to say that Christ, at one point, swiched places with us? He came down to our level so some day He would be able to exalt us...even above the angels. (i'd suggest you read the small paragraph of verses up above.)

wow. i think i got alot out of that. Studying the words that make no sense to me, like Humility, make it much more rewarding, than if i just sat there and stared at my Bible for a few minutes.

Ok. tell me what you got from this. and also expand on it. I like it when i make people think.

Have FUN!!!

ok. today is a day of venting. I thought i got over this, but my mind keeps screaming at me and replaying the situation over and over in my mind. talking about this and displaying it for all the world to see, seems to help. i'll at leaste leave out there names. well, today i had to have a serious confrontaion with two kids. one of the kids who was supposed to be helping me keep the kids under control at the 5 day clubs, and the other, was being a disgusting distraction. ok. JG, wasn't prepared at all for his missionary story (again!) and passed it onto TB. that was the first thing that made me mad. He had a whole week of intensive training on this missionary story. and he told me he slept through most of it, thus his dis-interest in being a Light for God. Then for the other two clubs he and his friend...L? were huge distractions. first while TB was telling the missionary story (aka JG's job) Jg and L? were making the kids laugh. I told JG that he was making me mad and that he'd better stop distracting the kids. so, he eased up on it. then at Brents club, while i was trying to tell my Bible story, JG and L? were sitting amongst the kids and Talking! Loudly! and distracting, not only the kids but me. to the point where i kept on forgetting my place. It was very infuriating. i told them at leaste four times to stop talking, but it continued. so after that, i gave the song leading over to TB and had JG and L? walk with me a ways from the kids. first, as they walked towards me with smugg looks on there faces, i asked if i looked happy?! That wiped that off, then i told JG how totally dissapointed i was with him. he tried to pass the blame on L? who was willing to take it, but i wasn't willing to take that. it was both of them! i made that clear.I was so mad my whole body was shaking and i could feal my neck twitch, i do that all the time while i'm in a blood-thristy rage! i was telling JG and L? to go home right then, but he refused because his dad was there. and i know i should have gotten his dad, but i have this horrible weakness. i don't want people to be mad at me. I go out of the way, to make sure people don't hate me. but in this surcomstance, i think i would have rather had him hate me than not. but it was to late, my fear overcame me. I'm glad i at leaste showed him my anger. i think they were both quite surprised. they guarded there talking after that little discussion.

ok. bear with me on this post. and laugh your heart out or scream in fear.

i know joy just posted about a dream she had, and beleive me, i'm NOT copying her. and even if i was, this makes such a good story.

so i had this dream. Last night, if you were wondering, so it's fresh in my mind.

It was "gloomy", kindof fuzzy, warm. I was in this white car with four other friends, i don't know who they were, but they were two couples and i was a guy, also someone i have no clue who it was. so we were driving around a city, down a deserted road, when we realized we were surrounded by dead people, walking and alive (now keep in mind, the last "night of the living dead" type of movie i saw was with joy, and that was Shawn of the Dead. that was like two weeks ago.) so we begin to feel uncomfortable, these people are dead, eating each other and killing people.we weren't scared, but i distinctly remember feeling uncomfortable. i begin to form this idea in my mind, "in order to survive this, i must get some food!" so i pass this old looking supermarket. half the parking lot was full, the other half was empty. i knew this was my chance, i parked and was running towards the store before i knew what was happening. i ran inside, and immediately, i realized there were alot of dead people in the store. they were all huddled around the frozen meat section stuffing there faces with raw meat. well, the part of my shopping experience eludes my mind, alls i know is all of a sudden i was standing in line with a full cart and eerie creepy music was playing in the back of my head. the lady in front of me had obviously been bitten. she was moaning in pain but determined to keep buying her stuff. there was a black lady bagging her stuff. the bitten lady turned to her and asked if she could go get her something. she looked uncertain, then left...toward the meat section. i began to panic! i knew there were dead people there and she would be eaten. there was just one shelf between me and the meat section. it was so scary. i could see the tops of there heads, mulling around and mulling back and fourth, the black lady had walked behind the little shelf and was gone. so i ran to the bagging area, and began to bag the ladies stuff! i knew i had to get her out of there before she turned into a zombie! i filled her cart up. she had two huge boxes as well, full of food. i put one box in her cart and one in mine and told her (aLIE!) that i would bring her, her box. she painfully shrugged her shoulders and waddeled away. so, i began stuffing my stuff in my cart, all the while expecting the black lady to fly around the corning and leap on me. my heart was pounding and i could begin to feel my body grow hotter. i grabbed up huge handfulls of tortillas. yes tortillas. who knows why i grabbed those. i must have thought i could live off them. all the while my heart rate was picking up. BAM! the black lady stepps out from behind the shelf and is untouched. she gives me this weird look, shruggs and begins helping someone else. so i'm packing tortillas in my cart, still hearing the creepy music. finally i finish and i slapped a credit card down and ran out the door, as more people are piling in to buy food. i begin to run across the parking lot towards my car. my friends are shaken up. the woman who was in front of me in the line, had parked right next to us. she was leaning against her car as i was slapping my forhead and saying "Oh GREAT!!!!" so i begin to fling open doors and throw tortillas at my friends. well, the lady begins moving around her car. a sick feeling errupts in my stomach. i knew she was a zombie. but all the others zombies just walzted around. she was acting funny. then all OF a sudden she flipps around and screams at me. a shrill peircing scream!. her hair is wild and she starts RUNNING around my car. i scream and slam the doors. leap into my side of the car as she flings herself at me. and i drive off....then i woke up.

yes. my dream was so scarry. i woke up Hot, sweaty and my heart racing.
i fell back asleep a few minutes later and drempt the same dream again, but my mom interrupted that. it was so weird. My body was just HOT! like the kind of Hot, when you get when your really scared.

anyways. that was that. hope it entertained you.

As we know Jesus better, his divine power gives us everything we need for living a godly life.
2 Peter 1:3 NLT

Isn't it nice to start off a post with Just a verse? Well. This is my post. Give me feedback. And hurry, before i post again and you'll never be able to comment on this post again!

As the weeks after Camp pile up on me, i began to think and ponder the things i learned. and one thing still stuck in my mind. Every night at Eagle Fern, we had a discussion, called hot topics. One of the nights we talked about Media. Music and all that stuff that Teenage girls bury themselves in. now, i never quote from secular songs, and i definetely wouldn't copy from this song, i won't even tell you what the song is it's so againts everything God stands for. But one part of the song shot out at me. it wrenched my heart, i honestly felt like crying. it said...

Roses are red
Some diamonds are blue
Chivalry is dead
But you're still kinda cute

Chivalry.
The medieval system, principles, and customs of knighthood.
The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women.
A manifestation of any of these qualities.
A group of knights or gallant gentlemen.

Chivalry is dead. Is that true? Is it possible to step outside and find Chivalry in a man? It was really hard for me to sit there and watch this music video, with girls throwing themselves at guy's while that phrase was echoing through my mind. How sad God must've been.

The Old Testament verses are the prophecy; the New Testament verses proclaim the fulfillment. Check them all out for yourself!

Born of a virgin (Isaiah 7:14; Matthew 1:21-23)

A descendant of Abraham (Genesis 12:1-3; 22:18; Matthew 1:1; Galatians 3:16)

Of the tribe of Judah (Genesis 49:10; Luke 3:23, 33; Hebrews 7:14)

Of the house of David (2 Samuel 7:12-16; Matthew 1:1)

Born in Bethlehem (Micah 5:2, Matthew 2:1; Luke 2:4-7)

Taken to Egypt (Hosea 11:1; Matthew 2:14-15)

Herod´s killing of the infants (Jeremiah 31:15; Matthew 2:16-18)

Anointed by the Holy Spirit (Isaiah 11:2; Matthew 3:16-17)

Heralded by the messenger of the Lord (John the Baptist) (Isaiah 40:3-5; Malachi 3:1; Matthew 3:1-3)

Would perform miracles (Isaiah 35:5-6; Matthew 9:35)

Would preach good news (Isaiah 61:1; Luke 4:14-21)

Would minister in Galilee (Isaiah 9:1; Matthew 4:12-16) Would cleanse the Temple (Malachi 3:1; Matthew 21:12-13)

Would first present Himself as King 173,880 days from the decree to rebuild Jerusalem (Daniel 9:25; Matthew 21:4-11)

Would enter Jerusalem as a king on a donkey (Zechariah 9:9; Matthew 21:4-9)

Would be rejected by Jews (Psalm 118:22; I Peter 2:7)

Die a humiliating death (Psalm 22; Isaiah 53) involving:
rejection (Isaiah 53:3; John 1:10-11; 7:5,48)
betrayal by a friend (Psalm 41:9; Luke 22:3-4; John 13:18)
sold for 30 pieces of silver (Zechariah 11:12; Matthew 26:14-15)
silence before His accusers (Isaiah 53:7; Matthew 27:12-14)
being mocked (Psalm 22: 7-8; Matthew 27:31)
beaten (Isaiah 52:14; Matthew 27:26)
spit upon (Isaiah 50:6; Matthew 27:30)
piercing His hands and feet (Psalm 22:16; Matthew 27:31)
being crucified with thieves (Isaiah 53:12; Matthew 27:38)
praying for His persecutors (Isaiah 53:12; Luke 23:34)
piercing His side (Zechariah 12:10; John 19:34)
given gall and vinegar to drink (Psalm 69:21, Matthew 27:34, Luke 23:36)
no broken bones (Psalm 34:20; John 19:32-36)
buried in a rich man’s tomb (Isaiah 53:9; Matthew 27:57-60)
casting lots for His garments (Psalm 22:18; John 19:23-24)

Would rise from the dead!! (Psalm 16:10; Mark 16:6; Acts 2:31)

Ascend into Heaven (Psalm 68:18; Acts 1:9)

Would sit down at the right hand of God (Psalm 110:1; Hebrews 1:3)

That's down right amazing! Jesus Fulfilled all those prophecies. and those were just the handful of the specific ones. God's awesome.

i love to walk. find a path and take it just to see where it goes. behold the beauty that God has blessed me with, let it enrapture my soul so i can give to Him pure and admirable praise.

It's 1:05 a.m. I have just finished a work of art. A huge soring mountain with two dead trees before it. I am proud of it. Well, i'm not sure why i'm writing at such a time nor why i decided to complete this drawing. but i just wanted to type. God's beauty entered my mind. i just want to praise Him for the beauty He's given me. So many things. My family. My friends. My pets. My world. yes. the trees. I llove trees. They're so powerful. You can climb them and burn them for heat. You can draw them and creat a massive beauty. there is nothing like a tree. it's God's magnificant creation. It sways it breaths. It reproduces. The pine tree has a most facinating way of reproducing. there are two kinds of cones. a male and female cone. the male cone creates a sperm that eventually drops, by sudden wind movement or a shiver in the tree and the sperm then falls and hopefully lands on a female cone. if it does it finds it 's way to the center of the cone where the egg is. it fertalizes the egg than the cone falls away from the tree and thus creates another tree. Thanks God for giving ,me that pice of Information!

well. Here's my history.

I was born in California, Palm Springs. To my mom and i beleive her boyfriend Ken Thornton (i don't know if they ever got married). We lived in a makeshift bus...He was a drunk and a druggy, . My brother kc was 2 and chris was 3. The one and only time my biological dad hit my mom was the last and she left him. I know no one on his side of the family, and from what my mom has told me they are probably all dead and i wouldn't want to meet them anyways. Crazy people. So my mom moved back to where she had grown up, portland. She had a few friends then. Doc and Charla. (i don't know there last names.) they had two kids who i grew up with Richy and . well, Doc and Charla were friends with this guy named Terry Shrum. and they wanted my mom to meet him. so the four of them went out to dinner, and i'm pretty sure my mom took all three of us kids, because she never got a babysitter. Well, they liked each other alot, and from then on they called each other all the time and talked for hours. well, my Bio dad ended up dieing a few weeks later from Alchohol overdose, and my mom, with us, went to the funeral. My mom was sad, only because he was our father. She didn't miss him. When we got back from wherever the funeral was, Terry asked my mom to marry him. She, of course, said yes. and they got married within months. i don't remeber the marriage, i was three at the time. but i have seen the video and i was a plump little red head. I had this balloon that i was throwing down some stairs and i kept telling this woman (who i have no clue who it was) to "go get it"! yah, those were the dyas when women thought you "were cute and chubby" and would listen to your every word...
So after the marriage, we had a great family. we lived in some apartments for a while. next to Doc and Charla, then decided to ove. My new dad and old (:) Mom bought a Mobile Home in Estacada. We started going to church when i was about four, we went to Clackamas Bible Church, which was where my Mom's mom went. i liked that church. The kids never talked to me though. when i was around 6, i was flipping through a hymnal, counting the number of pages in it. (i did that alot...) my mom had prayed with me when i was five, a few minutes before i got on the bus to school, and i had "asked jesus into my heart". but as i sat in the bus, i vividly remember wondering "What on earth did i just do!?" who was this Jesus guy and what was it my mom had said...? Oh well!!!
so sitting in church, a year later, i was thinking about Jesus. and my pastor was just happening to be talking about how to beleive in Jesus and why we should and He had done. (i beleive it was an Easter service). All of a sudden, I could feel God sitting beside me and i knew it was real. He was speaking to me. It was intense. I was only six, but i knew God wanted me. so i prayed right there. without and leadership. no one really knew. it was just me and God. Together, forever. I was so excited. I loved God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit. even though i couldn't possibly understand it. around the tiome of my true conversion, a missionary from africa came to our church to talk about his missions. I was so obsorbed in what he said. The pictures that he showed. I wanted to be there! I wanted to be apart of Gods deepest adventures. I prayed to God right there To let me go on a missiontrip. It wasn't specific! I just wanted to serve Him! I wanted to have an adventure. (and if you know me, and you know what i've done...well, let's just let that speak for itself!) well. My passion for Christ burned, and is still burning. The kids in my sundayschool class were the biggest distraction ever. I was hurt that none of them wanted to be my friend or wanted to talk to me. yah, i was quiet, but i felt that they should have tried a little harder. I built this wall around me, and wouldn't let them in. I am ashamed to say, there was a little hatred forming in me. i dreaded every moment i had to sit on sunday school. i dreaded stepping into the door, at the beginning, and watching them, fakely say "Hi Carina" and then go back to there talking and joking...it hurt deeply. anyways. by the time i was 13 i had no friends but was firmly established in Gods word. i liked our church, but my parents decided to swich to somewhere closer. i really missed my Grandma. but we tried different churches. we went to Estacada First Baptist but my mom thought the music was to wild and loud. we tried the Christian church but my mom thought it was to charimatic we found Dover Community. a small church with like 5 kids my age and the rest were way youngue or WAY old! only about 40 people in all. I liked that church. i liked the worship. there was a rundown piano, that was sometimes used, but usually we went without. The kids here were the same as CBC. They had already formed there own little click and weren't about to let me in. we went to the church for a few years, and ended up just not going to church at all. until i was about 18 did me and my mom want to go to church. we decided to got o Estacad First Baptist again. I had met joy, and knew she was going there. so was kin butler. so, i knew some people. so we went. i HATED. walking into sunday school. i dreaded stepping in and being the center of attention. masami was nice, but i was very intimidated by him. and knew no one but joy and kin and jon butler. it was scary. so i only went a few times. the rest of the time i just went with my mom. well, it came about that joy was leaving for india around the time we started going every sunday. i was dissapointed that i couldn't go. i really wanted to. she got back, and told me all about it, but aside from sundays we never really saw eachother. my other friends were either being dumb or had moved away a long time ago. so...the biggest time of my life, was the next year when i went to india myself. joy was there, as was jason and masami and brent. Masami and Brent were the two people i was most afraid of. I can't explaine it. it was pure terror. i was also really intimidated by jake cox. the moment it clicked that they were both on my side and were my friends was this moment...we were walking through the bazaar and masami sidles up to me and says..."if i grabbed a Rickshaw would you ride in it?" it was the weirdest question ever, but i really wanted to ride in one so i said"sure...". like 20 minutes later, i had completely forgotten the whole scene, and all of a sudden masami is sitting in a rickshaw and yelling at me to jump in. i was so confused!!! i didn't know what was happening!!! so i leap into it before i knew what i was doing (cornering yself so that i had to be talked to by HIM...) And we were off. we rode for about 15 minutes then stopped to wait for the others. we sat there. watching a thin little boy pick up trash. we watched this fat little boy on this prancing horse led by a guy. he was weird and annoying, flipping a little witch and hitting the horse to make it go faster, which it didn't. all the while we just sat there. masami told me how much he missed his family and asked me if i missed mine. i said yah. it was nice and relaxing. we just talked like friends. i put my guard down and realized, he was my friend. the rest of the week was GREAT! well...that was the most socially agonizing growth period for me. then there was Basketteball in college the next year. and all that stuff. it would take forever to begin to keep writing. so i will stop for now. it feels good to speak about all that. i know you stopped reading at Clackamas Bible Church. but that's ok. :)

pardon the mispellation elaine.

goodbye.

Let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of his coming back again is drawing near.
Hebrews 10:25 NLT

I was just thinking about the meetings we had in India. Sitting on the balcony or in a bedroom, or even in the hotel rooms in Dharmasala (where secrecy was Inforced by Masami :) how important they were. I would have pruned up and died from Hunger and Thirst for God's word. I would have been so distracted by the sounds and tastes and smells and feelings, there would have been no room for God, and i would have forgotten to pray and focus. But it was because of those meetings that i was able to grow far more spiritually than if i had been thrown to the wolves all alone.

Thanks Brent and Masami. (even though i HATED [with a passion] singing! let me count how many good singers there were compared to me. Brent, Jason, Joy, Jake and Jake, Lisa and Vivian! yah! WHAT NOW!!!!:) WELL. I was really glad to hear them sing. it was like water to my soul! but when they insisted that i sing...well...that was maddening. i'm the kindof person who gets more out of hearing the verses than singing them. and can you imagine me trying to explaine that to the two BOSSES? nope...

anyways. ahaha nice lead away from my true discussion. thanks for listening.

I took this survey once and it asked, "what's on your mouse pad?" and i couldn't answer because i didn't have one. but now i do, and i wanted to tell everyone. my mousepad has a sweet wrinkly dog asleep on a beach chair, and in a thought bubble above his head it says..."do not disturb, Genius at work."

so that's what it says.

it's now 11:26 p.m. and i'm exauhsted because i went on this grueling bike ride with Lanlle. i Honestly felt like quitting. but isn't it funny how God has desined the mind to push you to the limit. my body screamed to stop and rest, for only a moment, but my mind kept saying...keep going, every second is closer to the goal. give it your all. so tell me what spiritual stuff i can get out of that? i don't want to tell you because i don't know, but i know God can teach us something from it...

now what is it?

hopefully you can tell me. but while your thinking i'm going to sleep on it.

http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/cwn/081106witness.aspx

read this. it's awesome.

ok.naturally, when you read about the isrealites and the numerous times they displeased God and disgraced His Holy name, it makes you mad. (well, this is from my perspective...). I get really mad and Annoyed. Why would they forget God. Through so many really awesome guys like Gideon and The left-handed dude, God was glorified. Then there were the prophets. Nathan Elijah Eleisha....you name them, they glorified God with awesome and Mind-boggling miricles. yet everytime, after one generation of God-fearing people died off, it was replaced by the next generation of God-disgracing people, and the circle continued. You'd think, somewhere along the line someone would look throughout history and see a pattern! you would think they ALL would!

well. i know most of you are flabbergasted by these chain of events. it makes me NOT want to read the old testement, if it weren't for all the ACTION packed events in it.

well. do you think we have a similar pattern. almost like a pattern of sin? our faith i God is so strong...than once it dies away, sin takes over again...

i know God is using the old testement to show us things. but i'm not sure what...
maybe you people can clear up my mind and make it make sense. AT leaste TRY!!!! :)

ok. I've laid down my thoughts and idea's and my confused thinking. what do you have to say about it?

I forgot how excited I get when i look at my Artwork! I feel like screaming "YESS!!! I accomplished something!!!" I give total thanks to God and my Drawing teacher, Dave something! He was pretty awesome. Granted he did make cry like THREE times! (in the privacy of outside where no one would even notice me and where i could aks God why he gave me such a jerk of a teacher) But he did push me to my limits, almost to insanity, but I loved every moment when he would come over and critique my work. He'd just stand there, and all my work would stop and i'd stare at him. Wondering what He would say...normally he would say "It looks great keep going!" which was not what i wanted to hear! i wanted him to give me feedback, i wanted him to tell me what to do next. But now that I think about it, it just gave me a feeling of "smartness?" encouragement and a drive to keep doing what i was doing but even better! other times he would tell me what he "thought" i should do, but it was up to me. (again not really helping me!). well, he was a good teacher. I hope i can take another class with him. Is crazy fascination with "O brother Where ART THOU" SOUNDTRACK. yah, it was good. Another thing that i enjoyed were the people. There were about four or five other artists who were above me in knowledge...(i hate saying this...) and the rest were obviously below me in knowledge. Those above me a really looked up to. I was fascinated with there knowledge of drawing and it made me want to get to where they were. Especially this guy, Rocky was his name. He was amazing. I always listened to there critiques, and watched there style and way of drawing. it was a good experience. Even those who were drawing for the first time, I listened to there critiques. I leraned so much from those many classes in the Early morning. I can'e help but thank God for the opportunities He's given me.

anyways. have a good day.

p.s To my last post! Kc comes home to Texas this Friday!!!!!!!!!!! :)

ok. so i now have a scanner for my computer and i went bollistic with it tonight and decided to scan a ton of my drawn artwork.

some of them are "primitive" (i like that word) others somewhat recent. :) but it was fun scanning them and stuff.

so here they are. well three of them. i also went crazy again and put all of one of my art pads onto this art site i found. here's the link...

http://www.artwire.com/modules/profile/userinfo.php?uid=861

just in case. keep in mind, the first three of my artworks on this site were before i had a scanner and i had to use really bad art...ahhhck....nevermind. i won't explaine it.

hahha, well. i'm tired now. Goodnight.

well, i found some really fascinating sites on free-masonry and spiritual warfare and subjects of that nature. they're really good and i'd sugjest listening to and reading some of it.

http://www.ericbarger.com/

http://www.exmormon.com/audiolibrary.html

Holy Cow.

I think my old decrepid mouse just had a sezuir!

Alright. I'm back and I'm ready for action.
camp is completed. With many Godly convictions on the teenage girl's parts! It was quite awesome to watch. Now alls i have to do is pray that they don't forget the presence of God and His power that He showed them throughout the past four weeks of girls that i've "lived" with.

so. what did i learn throughout this last week.

I am not as "coherent" (?) to God as i once thought.
the situation was this.
so there was this girl in my cabin who was going into jr.high. all the rest of the girls were going into highschool. (yes, they normally try to keep the same ages in the same cabins, but through many divine plans and whatnot...i ended up with her.) so i could tell she was nervous and probably unsure of how to act around these older girls, so she automatically reverted to "annoying little sister" mode. Constantly not joins the discussions, acting like a baby and being annoying and rambunctious to all the other girls. at one point i felt the "need" to take her on a walk. no words were coming to my mind, so instead of asking the Lords guidance, i blurted out that she was being rude. not in a mean way. i said it quietly and calmly. and then i said i understood she was the youngest and blah blah blah...

so. that was that. i told her i wasn't mad at her. and let go and play some random game she really wanted to play. so i never thought much about that situation, but i felt kindof "bad" or "disgusted" about how i went about it. well, it wasn't;'t like i strangled her, like i almost did kat and mo...but still felt weird.

so the last day of the weeks rolls in, and it was our last discussion. i was heading towards the cabin. thinking of questions and stuff. when my other co-counselor, comes to me and says she is going to talk to the girl before discussion. i knew her intentions were pure and God-led. and then it was as if God was telling me "hey, i honestly, gave you the one-on-one time that you needed, that one day...butyou slacked of and let it slide. but don't worry, Sarah's (my co-counselor) has take it up." well. that's what i learned. i'm not sure how to put into words. Listen to God harder than you think you are. i'm sure you can understand how pathetic i felt towards God.

But, those are the times where He teaches me the most.