so i sortof hate being a PIC. i don't have what it takes to be a manager. everyone tells me "yeah! it's a good opportunity, take it!" or "your doing great as a manager!" but i know i'm not. there are a few employees that i just can't stand bossing around, because i've gotten so close to them, even though they are so lazy and they don't work hard. then there are a few employees who really intimidate me, especially when they get an attitude. and yeah, i pretty much am the most pathetic PIC ever. i'm contemplating giving up the position so i will be less stressed. i hate it when i'm stressed out. i snap at people i don't mean to. and i get annoyed really easily.
anyways, onto school. i beleive i might just barely pass english, i am probably going to fail Pentateuch, and spiritual life i will probably pass, and World Christianity i will, God-willing, pass.
*sigh* i cannot wait for school to be over!
Friday, October 24, 2008
so here is a paper i wrote after listening to a lecture by Domoni Pothin. i liked what i wrote and decided to share with you...
The World Around
When Domoni was beginning her talk on prayer, I knew it was going to be eye opening. Especially after she made everyone who was chewing gum, to spit it out. Whoever would have been distracted by someone sitting next to them, to move. And whoever had a drink by them, to move it away. I thought it was so cool how she made us stand when she prayed, it made me feel like I was having a deeper respect for God.
She made me think about why I pray by asking a question.“Why do we pray? To feel good? To control God?” and that is so true. So many of us pray out of pure selfishness for our own desires. We think God will obey our every request and when He doesn't we get angry and then begin questioning whether or not He cares. But God is not a being that we can control. I realized how much bigger He is, just by contemplating my habitual “Give me, Give me!” attitude. God gives us so much, in such small, unseen ways, it would probably boggle our minds to understand the vastness of His generosity. Every breath I take, every hug I get from someone I love, even every tantalizing smell I enjoy is really from God. So if I spent more time glorifying and thanking my Father for all the amazing gifts He's given me, how much more fulfilling would my life feel? I wouldn't be spending all my time shaking my fist at God for all the pointless things I've asked for. Instead I could look at what He already has given me in pure enjoyment and have that joy flood my life.
How many times have I prayed a “thankful” prayer that really were just words in my mind and nothing else? How many times have I shaken my fists at God in despair, because He wouldn't grant me my selfish wants and “needs”? I pray, quite literally, that He would allow me to be more thankful in a deeper sense. To look at the world around me and see each beautiful thing as an answer to prayer. God is so amazing and I can learn so much about Him through those blessed moments.
i almost failed this class because i forgot the paper had to be turned in the day i decided to catch up on sleep and skip class. i was so stupid.
The World Around
When Domoni was beginning her talk on prayer, I knew it was going to be eye opening. Especially after she made everyone who was chewing gum, to spit it out. Whoever would have been distracted by someone sitting next to them, to move. And whoever had a drink by them, to move it away. I thought it was so cool how she made us stand when she prayed, it made me feel like I was having a deeper respect for God.
She made me think about why I pray by asking a question.“Why do we pray? To feel good? To control God?” and that is so true. So many of us pray out of pure selfishness for our own desires. We think God will obey our every request and when He doesn't we get angry and then begin questioning whether or not He cares. But God is not a being that we can control. I realized how much bigger He is, just by contemplating my habitual “Give me, Give me!” attitude. God gives us so much, in such small, unseen ways, it would probably boggle our minds to understand the vastness of His generosity. Every breath I take, every hug I get from someone I love, even every tantalizing smell I enjoy is really from God. So if I spent more time glorifying and thanking my Father for all the amazing gifts He's given me, how much more fulfilling would my life feel? I wouldn't be spending all my time shaking my fist at God for all the pointless things I've asked for. Instead I could look at what He already has given me in pure enjoyment and have that joy flood my life.
How many times have I prayed a “thankful” prayer that really were just words in my mind and nothing else? How many times have I shaken my fists at God in despair, because He wouldn't grant me my selfish wants and “needs”? I pray, quite literally, that He would allow me to be more thankful in a deeper sense. To look at the world around me and see each beautiful thing as an answer to prayer. God is so amazing and I can learn so much about Him through those blessed moments.
i almost failed this class because i forgot the paper had to be turned in the day i decided to catch up on sleep and skip class. i was so stupid.
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