so today i got to hang out with joy. it was something that i desperately needed for my mental health :) so thank you joy.

sushi was also good. i had been getting tired of the cafateria food.

so, i'm at home for the weekend, having a well needed rest from campus life. i won't feel so clostrophobic and surrounded by so many people i don't know. i was going through a bunch of old journals and art sketch books. i'm 1) amazed at how horrible of an artist i was and how i've slowly progressed throughout the years and 2) i was so on-fire for Christ when i was 18. it seems so long ago and distant. Although my understanding of God and His word have gotten stronger, i feel like i am not as close as i once was all those years ago. I had such an intense thirst to grow in my relationship with Him and now it feels stagnant. i know i want that to change, i know i want that deep feeling of "wanting to grow". i just pray that that will soon come. i need to get out of my "I'm to lazy" mind-set and focus on Christ. i had written so many long passages of the Bible in so many of my journals. i was so into the word and wanting to understand it. God rocks and i knew it then, and i know it now. so anyways. I love God and i want that intense feeling again. i don't want to lose that ZEAL.

so onto other random stuff...
i will blog about my first "date" :) (mainly because i would like to remember everything that happened, just in case i forget in the future. hahaha)
well, there is this guy at work, his name is Jake, and i like him. it was sortof a slow process. i thought he was attractive, but we never talked. then one day we had lunch at the same time and we were talking and i asked if he beleived in God (i do that randomly to alot of my c-workers...) and he said he did, and i then asked if he beleived in Jesus...because it was only through Christ that we could get to the father (it actually didn't come out like that...not so theological...) and he laughed and said "yah. i like you" (as a friend...) then we talked more. and he always wanted to hug me hahahah....and i just slowly started liking him. ANYWAYS!!!! all this to say...we ended up through quite awkward moments, saying that we liked each other, and that was that. one day i was on an aisle with Inez and Ivan, and inez said she wanted to go to wongs kings. and we all ended up deciding to go together. i really wanted to invite jake but i figured he would make up an excuse...so i told ivan to ask him. and so jake was invited. and as the day approached i realized...this might be my first date. so i got really nervouse and i didn't know how to act or what to say. well...i'll skip the boring details. me and alissa (who i invited for moral support) arrived first. then inez came and she brought her daughter and her friend (wich made the evening THAT MUCH MORE AWKWARD) then jake and ivan showed up and jake looked nice...hahaha, i only say that because he likes to make a statement i think. he's really into fashion. i really tried not to look at him to much, and as i was ordering i completely lost my appetite from me being so nervouse. so when the food came i probably took like five bites. i don't really remeber the conversation, except jake randomly looked at me and said "the condoms that you ordered for your department came and I! had to put them away...." that was really funny. and it went vulgar really fast...but i don't recall what was said. anyways. jake ended up paying for EVERYONE! i don't know if he was trying to impress me or if he was just trying to pay for just us and the waitress did everyone and he was to proud to make her change it. i don't know. but we were done eating and we all stood awkwardly in the lobby of Wongs and i still don't know why we were waiting around. but i decided to step out of my comfort zone and initiate the HUG with jake. (he usually is the one who runs up to me and hugs me...) then after that momentous hug ivan asked if me and alissa wanted to go see a movie with him jake and ivans girlfriend. i really wanted to but i left it up to alissa, and i think she could tell that i wanted to so she said yes (bless her heart! hahahaha!!!!) so we left. inez went home. and i drove alissa and jake went with ivan. well. we got to the theaters and finally got in and were sitting down. and i just remember enjoying sitting next to him. and every once in a while during the movie he'd lean over and say something to me. and i kept thinking "what would i do if he tried to hold my hand? would i let him...? probably...maybe...maybe not...!" he never tried though hahah. and jake always smells really nice (i can't beleive i just said that...but it's true) anyways it was nice. and i also enjoyed watching alissa get scared over action scenes. hahaha. well, we got out of the theater and i gave jake another hug, said goodbye, and we were off. it was a really fun night, even though i felt nautious with nervousness half the night. that is what happened. and i'm going to press the "post" button before i delete this and my memories forever!