ok..it's time for some serious "venting"...joy feel free to join in.
i realize this won't help me now that camp is over...but i know it will feel as good as crying and screaming about it.
one of the greatest things i hate is disrespect for an elder. me and joy were placed in leadership positions and it was shredded before our eyes. every camper under our "control" was disrespectful in some way...(discounting two...i suppose.) it was disheartening and angering and exauhsting. it almost makes me want to throw away any thoughts of working with tghese kids ever again! it makes me want to throw myself on the ground and give up! i just wanted to give up this week. i had nothing to look forward to. there was no goal, besides glorifying God, and that wasn't happening with the way my additude was going. my anger flared up on many occasions, most of the time to the point of tears or physical torture! i almost at one point knocked tami abernathy out with a flashlight! (true story!) i began to dred waking up in the morning. i was constantly fatigued which made my anger worse. all in all...it was a horrid week. well, when i consider all the times i got upset...which was EVERY night! but i'm sure God did work some good into the week. i confronted!!! that was the bigest thing i was worried about, and i followed through. it was awesome. i almost smacked the two kids because they weren't going to listen to me...but i followed through. :)
YAY!!!
let me tell you what happened...
me and joy were standing near the food area at like 10 at night. and behind us were this guy and girl. they were like in each others laps! so i bend over and whisper to joy..."hey...there's some serious PDA going on behind us", but it didn't look like joy was about to do something. well, she asked if they were counselors...which they were silent...so i said..."hey you guys need to seperate..."
they didn't budge
so i step forward and stood inches from there faces and said..." you can either separate now or i can sit between you guys...!!!" that was where i almost smacked them because it took them like a whole 30 seconds to begin to budge...the whole time i stood there staring. Hhahaha! it was pretty exciting. better yet, they probably didn't know who i was because it was dark!
anyways.
my venting is done.
i feel better. I know God did some amazing things this week.
4 comments:
Carina. You are an awesom person! Everyone needs to know what you look like when you are pushed off the edge. It's scary. Its a side of Carina I knew bubbled underneath, but never really saw.
I think it was because of you, Carina, that I was able to not punch any of the kids in the face this week. Thank you so much for being there.
I almost cried when you said you were with Kat another week and Jessie was your co-counselor. But I laughed out of the idea of exhaustion. I'll pray for you.
It sounds like the whole camp needed a little more discipline to be effective. When kids come with respect, then you can relax a little and be chummy. Unfortunately, very few kids come with respect any more. The camp structure and senior staff should have backed you up.
I'm sorry Carina.
I hope your next camp is a good experience. I know, another week with Kat will try you, but this is very good training ground for whatever God has in store. prayin for ya!
well, thanks ladies. :)
it's been weird, lately i've felt like i've been thrown out into an abyss of spirituality all alone, and that no one was there to catch me and help me understand things. But you three do a pretty good job. along with Becky. and kim. and kristen.
and i almost cried to joy...
and thanks for your prayers. I know kats a completely different person without mo...so maybe it will be a good stable place for me to build a stronger relationship. it's really jessie that i'm worried about now. she's very good at making people beleive she's the perfect christian. i feel like i need to "guard' all the gilrs in my cabin this week...
oh well. God can turn anything into His glory. can't wait to see Him work in Jessies life...
ok. enough ramblage.
thank you guys. and i love you joy. i'm really glad we made a good team and we were there for each other...
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